-THINK before you post:
- True: Is it truthful, or is it something you heard through the grapevine
- Helpful: Is it helpful to others or is it gripy, judgy, shaming, or overly opinionated
- Inspiring: Is it inspirational to others around you?
- Necessary: Is it necessary to express this view or opinion?
- Kind: Is it a kind thing to say or will it possibly hurt others?
In a world where everyone is so overexposed, the coolest thing is maintaining your mystery
Stop worrying if people like you. Do you like you?
You will never be happy as long as you live to feed your ego rather than feed your soul.
Social Media Platforms Explained:
Facebook: You hate people you know
Pinterest: You love people you've never met.
Twitter: Political hate, presidential drama, and some funny celebrities.
Instagram: Look at what I'm eating, with this vintage filter, then shared on Facebook with the people I hate.
SnapChat: Crazy filtered selfies.
LinkedIn: Read this article I am sharing, I am so professional!
It's been almost a year since I blogged. What? I know. Oh well, I've been a little busy. But, this subject has been bothering me for a while. That subject is the need for validation on the internet and constant public service announcements from those who have been offended.
My name is Rachel and I have shamed others, expressed an unnecessary, untruthful, unkind, unhelpful, uninspiring opinion more than once. I am a work in progress.
Scenario: Little Sally posts a picture of herself on twitter or instagram and instantly is flooded with both positive and negative responses from friends and strangers. However, instead of focusing on the positive, little Sally zeroes in on the negative comments that identically match her already overwhelming insecurities. What does Sally do? Sally posts a response (a social PSA) berating the negative responders, spouting off how offended she is, and declaring that her insecurities are a thing of beauty and she doesn't need validation from anyone. While this may be true, wouldn't not responding to the hate spoken louder to those shamers?
Sally doth protests too much. And, guess what else Sally? Being offended is a choice. Your feeling of offense is NO one else's problem but your own. Do not make it someone else's issue that you cannot control your emotions, have low self esteem, and need validation from strangers. If you do not like you, others probably won't either.
Also, I am sorry Sally, but your attention fishing, self-serving need for an ego boost is an open invitation for negative attention. So, you have a choice: feed the fire of negativity by responding or take the high road and ignore it (see previous blogpost about the high road, it's a good one). If you post a PSA about the negativity you experience at the hand of the internet, you are opting for continuing the cycle of negativity. Well, I guess bad attention is better than no attention, even though 100 people gave you positive attention, which you chose to ignore. Getting internet famous is like having the most money in Monopoly. It doesn't help in the real world.
Why do we only focus and dwell on the bad?
JUST STOP. I don't get why one needs validation for their short-comings from strangers after another stranger pointed out said short-coming. Can we not find validation other places besides the internet? People hiding behind their screens are going to be 10 times more brutal and attempt to destroy your self-esteem. You know why? Because someone destroyed theirs. It's a vicious cycle, Sally.
Is it not more important to find validation in yourself, surround yourself with love from those who already accept you, love you, and avoid the negativity? Ah, but then you wouldn't be able to put out a PSA about the topic to garner attention that you so desperately need. Everyone wants to be internet famous, I guess.
The internet is seriously the most egotistical and narcissistic place on the earth. Move over Beverly Hills and Old Town Calabasas, internet warriors can only survive if they are validated by their 'followers' and can attempt to destroy their haters. Wow, it is like North Korea mentality. Agree with me or be internet-destroyed by my insecurities.
Here are some tips about how to thwart shame and not be a shamer. Remember, shaming can only occur if you allow it.
If you body shame someone else, you are just an ass.
If you are being body shamed, ignore it and move on. Those shaming you are insecure in their own skin. Be better than them.
Never ever ok. If someone is unhealthily overweight, I can guarantee they already know it and don't need commentary from the social media peanut gallery.
If you get commentary on your weight, feel bad for the insecure jerks who are fat shaming you. There is something inherently wrong with them to make them want to destroy others.
- Fit shaming
This is done by jealous folks chomping on donuts at their computers.
If you are proud of your accomplishments in fitness and want to share your success story, do so. But you will get hate from those who are insecure. Pray for them and move on. You are an inspiration to so many.
Does this even need explanation?
Often done out of fear. Mind your business or do some real, non-bias research before you join an anti-religion "but they vote against..." bandwagon.
Putting your faith out there will always get backlash. Stay strong and pray for those who seek to destroy your faith.
we are all free to believe what we want. If you are in fear for the destiny of an atheist, instead of socially shaming them, pray for them.
Putting your beliefs out there will always get backlash. Research if you have questions, but don't judge others who believe differently than you.
Please do not put your sexual escapades on social media. Seriously, keep your private life just that.
If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander, but still, most of us don't want to see or read about it.
A person's choice is not your business, nor should you have an opinion on someone else's lifestyle.
Stay strong if you are receiving pressure about your choice. It is no one's business your private choices are. Private being the operative word there. You do not have to defend your choice to anyone.
How can you shame that sweet face and those puppy dog eyes?
Dog shaming is hilarious, actually. Dogs can't read so they can't see what's written on the internet. It also lets us know we aren't alone in our dog-drama.
We all know cats are jerks, but you knew that when you got a cat. Really you only have yourself to blame.
They are chickens, not rocket scientists. What did you expect?
The media likes to portray hunters as the most evil of all the evil. BS. Do your research before you attempt at shaming a true hunter.
Conservation of forests, wetlands, and wild animals comes from those who hunt, not those who protest hunting.
It probably isn't smart to display what firearms you have on social media. People are crazy.
If you post your latest kill, everyone is gonna ask you for meat. How would they like it if you walked into their house and started asking for groceries out of their fridge.
how is being a vegan affecting your non-vegan lifestyle?
Go ahead with this one, it's really ok. They want to be shamed. That's the only explanation I can think of.
Haven't they suffered enough?
Do not judge other's eyebrows.
Do not get angry when someone criticizes your makeup. Not everyone can be as pretty as you are. Pray for them, and move on.
just be glad you have hair.
NEVER talk bad about your spouse to anyone, ever, especially online
NEVER talk bad about your spouse to anyone, ever, especially online
Unless blatant abuse and neglect is going on, mind your business.
If there is abuse and neglect, do something more than social media shame.
Do not shame a mom for the way she feeds her child, the way she parents, her home etc.
No child or family is the same and your two cents is not necessary.
Dad shaming (same as above)
I want to say this is ok, but it's not. Not toward each other anyway. No one was raised the same, has had the same life experiences as you, or thinks like you. Therefore, we will get differing political views.
Life would be so boring if we all thought the same way. Nothing would change for the better.
It is ok to keep your political views to yourself. You owe no one an explanation on why you vote the way you do. If you put your view out there, you're gonna get opinions. If you can't handle the negative opinions, do not put your view out there.
How is being gay bothering anyone? Tell me, I'll wait for your educated and eloquent response. If you are offended by someone's sexual orientation, that's your problem, not theirs. Until their lifestyle starts personally affecting you, keep your opinions to yourself.
How is being straight bothering you? Tell me, I'll wait for your educated and eloquent response. If you are offended by someone's sexual orientation, that's your problem, not theirs. Until their lifestyle starts personally affecting you, keep your opinions to yourself.
See, you have to stop giving the shamers and haters power over you. Your response to it (or your PSA) just tells the shamer/hater that they've influenced your actions, emotions, and self-respect. Now, why did you go and let that happen?
So, let me just say that if you just HAVE to put it out there on the internet, don't get all self-righteous when you are shamed over it. No, this is not 'victim' blaming because you exposed yourself to the entire world and expected not to get judged. The internet is a crappy judgy place. You playing the victim for exposing yourself doesn't make you a social/political/emotional/sexual justice warrior, it makes you look ridiculous and insecure, like Kathy Griffin (or just an ass).
Here's a couple of ideas:
1. Don't put it out there
2. Ignore the negative if you do.
And my unsolicited opinion: Stop watching the damn news. Unfollow the media sources. Maybe get off of social media once in a while. It is all propaganda, it is all fake, it is all agenda to sway you to the owner of the network's views. It just breeds more hate, shame, and fuels fires between us. They are pushing the masses to either side of the social divide. Social warfare is real.
You wanna know what is going on in the world? Get out of your house, get off of your phone, stop reading this blog, turn off your devices. Go talk to your neighbors, volunteer in your community, see the world. But, for the love of GOD, stop watching the news, following the the social media platforms, and absorbing the hate they spew. It gets regurgitated into PSAs. Follow the love, follow the positive, and stay away from anyone that works to create a rift between their ideals and yours.
Also, if you do a good deed, posting about it negates the deed. Do it for the good of the deed and not the recognition.
I don't need validation or agreement with this blogpost. I just wanted to get it off my chest. If this post has offended you..well that's like, your problem.